Chosen Song: Lyric Analysis

I'm not going to make it
Life changing event has occurred - cancer/break up/death/drugs.
I'm so tired and I feel frustrated
Drained - can't cope.
Stressing out just trying to face it, but I can't
Facing her problem is difficult - must be a large problem.

I'm rushing to get ready
Not able to move quickly - illness?
When I walk, no, I'm not steady
"I'm not steady" - not used to it, recovering/ill?
Everything I wear feels extra heavy, and I just can't
Weak - drained.

But I'm finding it hard to gear myself up, because I haven't been out for a year
Stressed - isolated/recluse.
And if I didn't know that you are the one, then the answer to me would be clear
Talking about parents/boyfriend/friend/talking to the cancer or illness?

And it's just because I know that I can't do that to myself
Can't put herself at risk - letting herself get ill? Letting herself fall in love?
Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"
Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.

Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"

Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.

I create my own false deadlines
School work - certain date she doesn't want to happen/has forgotten is happening.
It makes no sense when I can't find the time
At home all the time - has an abundance of time? Ironic - has no time left?
To put thoughts down into words and rhyme, like I know how
Writing in a diary. Writing a letter. Writing a book.

But when I take a moment

Step back.
Clear my head and see wide open
Fresh air - bigger picture.
I can see that I'm still broken, but only on the outside
Still ill - deceiving. 

But I'm finding it hard to gear myself up, because I haven't been out for a year

Faced struggles - tired of it.
And if I didn't know that you are the one, then the answer to me would be clear
Talking about parents/boyfriend/friend/talking to the cancer or illness?
And it's just because I know that I can't do that to myself
Can't revert back to old habits - doesn't want to get ill again. 

Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"

Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.

Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"

Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.

Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"

Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.

Even thinking about going out alone makes me want to say "no, I'm going to stay home"

Shy/trapped/isolated/fearful/depressed.